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Thursday, January 30

Just Jump

It's a daunting thing. To sit there in front of a somewhat clean canvas and put your brush against it, knowing there's no turning back. There's no ctrl+z in case you do something wrong. It's a horrible feeling to let go of any ideas about what is right and what is wrong and simply go with the flow of a brush that still feels unfamiliar to your hand.

And yet that is how I've spend these past couple of weeks. I've had moments of courage followed by instant fear. I had no idea what I was doing at most times. Which is probably why I left the blog alone for a bit. I needed time to find the courage to jump into the unknown. Hence the topic for my layout today.

I've said it many times before that I really wanted to try hybrid and with my focus on art journaling this year has given me the desire to get out the paintbrushes and do something I hadn't done in over a decade. So I picked up a few supplies and spend the next couple of weeks moving them around the house every time they were in the way. Not once did I open them. As long as I didn't do it I would have an excuse for not using them and therefore not failing at it. Did I mention this scared me?

I've been browsing Pinterest lately. Looking for art journaling techniques.I think I expected to be able to just do it and for a minute there I forgot that it took me years of using PSE before feeling as comfortable at creating as I am now. I had a few practise runs and threw it all out again. I was actually close to simply giving all my supplies away to someone more worthy but my stubbornness won.
This is not even remotely perfect or even how I envisioned it but I am happy with it. It is my first attempt of combining digital with supplies like paint and cutouts and I think I much prefer this over starting from scratch on paper. Perhaps in time I will feel more comfortable with creating just with pen and paper but not yet. I am still a little overwhelmed with the amount of stuff needed. Different kinds of glues, that does different kinds of things. I was so naive to think that glue was glue. Oh the things I have to learn - and such a huge world of opportunities to explore.
One thing is certain. Now that I've finally unpacked the things and found a way that sort of speaks to my current abilities, this won't be the last I create.

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